Hope everyone had a great Christmas, or Festivus, or whatever you chose to celebrate. It’s been long enough, and the suspense I’m sure has been unbearable (because my opinion matters to everyone. Right? Guys? Anyone?)
So here it is, the thrilling conclusion to the top (bottom?) ten most OVERRATED SNES games ever (according to me, I guess)
#5 Killer Instinct
Killer Instinct was a fighting game released in the heyday of Mortal Kombat. At the time, Street Fighter itself was still pretty popular and fighting games were popping up left and right no matter how ridiculous the premise was (we’re looking at you, Shaq Fu.) it had its own flavor of fatalities (“No Mercy Moves”) and the graphics were done by Rare using (presumably) the same 3D-to-Sprite technology they used for Donkey Kong Country.
Sure, the combos were neat, and the graphics were good, and the health bar tweak to make it persist between rounds was cool. But outside of that, the game was largely…unremarkable. The characters weren’t very interesting, and the game itself always felt stiff, slow, and kludgy to me. It made we want to play other fighting games in favor of itself and that is something a good game should not do.
Sometimes I wonder if the only reason this game got popular is the ever-present C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER meme that plagued us all before we even knew what the word meme meant. All I’m saying is, there’s a reason Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat games are still being made (and are better than ever, thankfully. MK had a bit of a rocky streak there,) and Killer Instinct remains an artifact of the past.
#4 Zombies ate my Neighbors
This game is just stupid.
That’s all. Goodbye.
Okay okay fine. Zombies are now more popular than ever but even so, this game—like most others on this list—finds its way into toplists all over the place stretching years into the past and I really have no idea why. The premise is rather dumb and I know the game is trying to play like classic Gauntlet but it doesn’t do a very good job.
This game received mediocre reviews at its release but somehow has attained cult classic status and was a begged-for release on the Wii Virtual Console. I could never stomach more than the first few levels of this game. You fight zombies with a squirt gun. I’m not going to get all “ZOMBIES ARE SRS BZNS” on you but your weapons are: squirt gun, soda cans, dishes…and a bazooka. One of these things is not like the others, but I know which one I would like to have if zombies were popping out of my backyard lawn like mindless turds.
This game just doesn’t strike me as particularly clever or stimulating. It’s a C-average game in every way and makes you bored in record time.
#3 Earthworm Jim
I harbor personal hatred for this game. Why do you people like it? The whole game looks like an entire junkyard was shoved up one guy’s ass and he was told to squeeze as hard as he could and that’s what they wanted the game to look like.
You’re an earthworm. In a spacesuit. With a gun. Some people might respond to that with “Awesome!” and I say “No.” or possibly “Die in a fire.” and usually “Are you on drugs?”
Some of the levels in this game are visually counter-intuitive to navigate, it’s an eyesore. This game’s saving grace was its crude and for-the-time edgy humor—something videogames of the period largely lacked. But take that away and it doesn’t really stand on its own in my opinion. The gameplay itself wasn’t bad, I guess, and that is why this game is just overrated and not on my “top ten heap of crap” list but it was simply not fun to play and having to incessantly hear about how awesome the game was largely for its humor was probably my first experience with nerd-rage.
And that goddamn cartoon… This game was not as great as you think it is. For God’s sake play something else.
#2 Secret of Evermore
This is the only game in this entire list that I will just straight up say, this was a really terrible game and should have never been released. But, a lot of people disagree for some reason.
“But it’s the sequel to Secret of Mana!”
No it isn’t, you mentally deficient monkey. This game has nothing to do with Secret of Mana and how dare you speak its name in the same breath as this filth.
Fans were rabid for Secret of Mana, because it was in every way an excellent game, maybe even the best released for the SNES. For some reason, Squaresoft thought it was appropriate to throw together a new team of miscreants to create something new to attempt to capitalize on SoM’s success and produced this abortion instead of just localizing Seiken Densetsu 3, the actual sequel, which is also a much better game (but then again, these are the same people that released all of the subsequent “Mana” games which became increasingly more ridiculous-looking and underwhelming over time.)
I have no idea what drugs they were taking that made this game sound like a good release, but I want some. It was probably the same junk that made them think that Final Fantasy Mystic Quest was a necessary “gateway” game to introduce American’s to the JRPG genre…of which it was a terrible example.
Let’s get back on target, besides being a similar-in-appearance action RPG, using a ring-style menu system, and having the words “Secret of” in the title, this game has nothing to do with Secret of Mana at all. But people still shat their pants to get a hold of this…thing at the time. Many of them were horrendously disappointed, yet there was a dedicated sect that loved this game and everything it stood for. Most modern reviews still place this game around a B-to-B+ rating and what for? The magic system of Secret of Mana was replaced with this abomination they called Alchemy, exchanges are made through barter of random objects, only two people can play this game, and the story…well I fell asleep. I have on three separate occasions made a serious attempt to muscle through this game just to say that I have played all the way through and add it to my list, but I simply cannot do it. There are just too many other things that are a better use of my time…like taste-testing rat poison.
This game was a shallow attempt to identify with an American audience (if that isn’t made obvious by the intro scene and the mere physical appearance of the main character.) and perpetuated a stereotype that Americans couldn’t make good a RPG.
And speaking of RPGs…our winner:
#1 Earthbound!
This game can go straight to hell. I can, with a straight face, dead-pan, tell you this game is garbage and should never have seen the light of day. Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh. But let’s look back a bit; Earthbound received many negative reviews when it was released, and for damn good reasons. But 10+ years later everyone has suddenly decided that it’s some kind of freaking masterpiece. What the hell?
This game was so ass-backwards, that they had to include the strategy guide, standard-issue, to coax people into buying it. Nintendo of America knew it was a mess from the very beginning. The advertisement campaign slogan was “This game stinks.” There was no doubt that this game was less-than-stellar.
Okay, well, maybe for an American audience. The game did very well in Japan and, to be honest, the game is very, very Japanese in terms of its gameplay; which follows a style of more primitive early jRPGs like Dragon Warrior and such. But people said it was ahead of its time…it simply wasn’t. Its gameplay was antiquated even for the time. It looks like a childrens book, you magically get your money by talking on the phone after doing battle, and one of the characters is straight-up named “Poo”.
This game was an experiment in many ways. They tried, it was a misfire. No big deal, it happens. Move on. My problem isn’t really with the developers of this game, because I have to give them their due credit for trying something new, even if it wasn’t solid gold; it’s the people who think it’s a slight against GOD that this game’s sequel (or prequel) didn’t see a North American release.
Earthbound is not a great game. It doesn’t matter what region you’re in, it just isn’t. There are much worse games, but Earthbound is consistently praised for being this amazing masterpiece that it simply is not. I have experienced more compelling RPG gameplay from (I shit you not) a Sailor Moon game. Please let this game drift back into the quiet obscurity in which it belongs. This is the only top ten list that Earthbound deserves to be at the #1 spot on. I am tired of hearing about this game. End of line.
Welp, thus concludes my experiment in rattling the cages of my fans, which I’m sure will let me know how displeased they are with my eloquently delivered perspectives. Just be happy that I’m not thinking about making a “Top Ten Most Overrated Games of Any Platform Ever” list…the Call of Duty crowd and I would be having words.
Dirty words.
Just remember this is all in good fun. If I were locked in a room for a year with nothing but these ten games, I would still probably play them…I mean, I wouldn’t strangle myself with the controller wires just to end the pain or anything.
…At least not right away. (kidding.)
Cheers!